I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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