forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
