Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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