No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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