Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
