pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Acid is not a monday night drug
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
