Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
