I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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