if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm at about main and main street
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
