8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
