it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
