The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
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I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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