i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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