No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
