you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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