do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
