no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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