she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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