That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
