Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
