apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
