I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
