I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
