my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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