I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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