you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Randomize
