ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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