Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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