i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
