are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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