I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
