Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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