you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
