At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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