My nipple is on Facebook.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
we're making bets on your personal life
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
