the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
