Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
