did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
