Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
