Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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