She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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