I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize