it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
