In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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