Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
