New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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