playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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