Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
4 words: hood of his car
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
