So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
