there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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