so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
