Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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