he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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