make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
