The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
