1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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