there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
