i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm at about main and main street
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
40s are totally the cure
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize