your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
