I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize